..Victoria Barkley..

The Gift

Recently I woke up feeling peacefully joyful. With the fast fading remnants of a dream I could no longer hold onto, I remembered what True Love for me was all about. I don't know where I was while asleep, just that a lingering sense of well-being remained upon awakening.

The first time I felt like this was in a Lazaris intensive called "Soul's Path," back in the late 20th century. (Lazaris is a non-physical entity, chanelled by Jach Purcell.) This was my first seminar with Lazaris and I didn't know what to expect. There were lectures and meditations designed to build insights and connections with Soul and Higher Self. I stayed fully awake during these while many people dropped off to sleep. However, I did not experience anything more profound than a slowly building curiosity. The days passed quickly and we were on the final Sunday with just one more meditation left to wrap up the event.

Some of the participants received their Soul's name through inner hearing but that did not happen to me. I tried to make a name up; it didn't stick. I felt both saddened and frustrated by what I perceived to be my lack of spiritual progress.

Part of the event included a crystal ceremony, during which Lazaris would give each one of us a tiny ruby-in-the-rough, touch some of the chakras, and say something mentally to the person. Secretly, I was hoping that he would reveal my Soul-name during the crystal ceremony. I held that thought in my mind as I walked up to him. He just said a few encouraging words out loud and seemingly ignored my non-verbal request. That did it. I went into self pity.

I was feeling so sorry for myself that I could hardly relax enough for the final meditation. I even cried about it. Then, at the end of the countdown, everything became very vivid in my imagination and I found myself in my Soul's temple. There were the seven faces of the soul Lazaris talked about on the days before. And, as I walked toward them, all of them were shouting my Soul's name loud and clear until the entire scene resonated with its syllables. I was standing there in awe and gratitude feeling tears of joy welling up in my eyes and felt loved beyond measure. Still in meditation, with my eyes closed, I turned around and "saw" an egg shaped ball of light, full of swirling sparkling stars, standing by the doorway to the temple. "Did you get it now?" the question was asked telepathically. I nodded "yes," in total disbelief.

That sense of deep, unconditional, absolute love lingered for months after that. It was different from anything I have ever felt before. Although it made giving and receiving personal love deeper, human love paled by comparison. It was a completely silent, calm, peak experience that would come and go for weeks on end. I would just think the thought "Are you still there?" and there would be an answer "As long as there is light, we shall love you." It receded so softly, so imperceptibly, over such a long period of time that there was no withdrawal. A gentle sweetness remains to this day and can be conjured up at will in moments of quiet listening. It was a gift of intimacy with a greater reality that left me forever grateful.

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Other stories by Victoria Barkley:
Silver Sixpence in her Shoe
Breakfast with Scot -- movie review
Sex Drive -- movie review
What Just Happened -- movie review
American Teen -- movie review
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian -- movie review
A Message From Mom
A Tale of Two Bunnies
Animal Nature
Into the Wild - movie review
Darshan in the Dark Light of the Moon
Love Never Dies
Green Roofs, Weeds and Wildflowers
Greeting Sunrise
Arctic Tale - movie review
Seasons of Gandhi