...After all the words, after the "unsayable" has been spoken, your greatest gift may well to linger in companionable silence.

Why? As we become more effective listeners, we eventually spend less energy on the mechanics of the conversation. Let go of worry about "saying the right thing," for in listening, as well as providing encouraging body language and appropriate eye contact, your whole being offers welcome. You are saying, "With me, you can be safe to talk, even to get into the landscape of language about death and dying."

As you become present to the other's communication methods, it may well be that a new depth in your relationship grows, even in the last months and days of your time together. Validating each other, you come to companionable silence, at ease and at peace.

Conclusion

There is something at the core of the deepest listening to another; we call it compassion. This kind of love sees the weaknesses of another and wraps that person in care so powerfully that the warmth of it heals wounds, inspires reconciliation, and helps close the gaps of separation. All of this can be achieved without following a protocol or speaking a word. You are capable of such love. Yes, you are capable of such love if you remain calm and allow your love to deepen.

Be grateful for such capacity and let it come into being. This is your opportunity now, as you sit beside the one who is teaching you how to die well. You may be teaching that loved one how to die in the beautiful dance of life, too.