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5 Keys to Soul Level Relationships
"Can't live with them, can't live without them." We all find ourselves somewhere on the relationship cycle in varying degrees of
confusion! Like parenting, relationships are something we're largely required to work out for ourselves and much of our approach is
based on our personal history. To really understand how to have successful relationships we have to expand our thinking and go to
the "soul level." This is where we move from preconditions and knee-jerk reactions to a deeper level of understanding and consciousness.
Here are 5 key "soul level" guidelines to creating loving and thriving partnerships.
1. The Purpose of Relationships
One of the main purposes of romantic relationships is for us to exchange our "gifts," We're always attracted to qualities in
someone we haven't yet owned in ourselves. It's why we feel they complete us. Instead we could learn from each other and
become more complete within ourselves.
This usually happens in the first flush of romance -- we share new lifestyles and consider different viewpoints. We like
someone because they are more "free-spirited/creative/calm" than us. But then "life" kicks in and we resort to our tried
and tested coping mechanisms. Instead of dealing with events in the new way our partner models, we find their approach too
threatening. Sacrificing growth to familiarity, "free-spirited" becomes "irresponsible," "creative" seems ungrounded and
"calm" appears inactive. Our gifts are not exchanged and one of the relationship's main purposes is lost.
The secret is to remember why you were first drawn to one another. Connect with the higher purpose of your attraction, try
seeing life their way and expand into a fuller expression of who you are.
2. Outer Dramas, Inner Struggles
We're also drawn to our partners' negative aspects because they show us where we need to heal. At the soul level, your outer
life is a reflection of your inner reality. Whatever external conflict you're experiencing is somehow mirroring a struggle
within yourself. You may be with someone who tests your ability to live courageously and be a risk taker. Look closely and
you'll realize they're an outer manifestation of a voice inside your head. You have "created" them so you can work out how
to overcome this negativity within you.
To do this, conquer your own fearful attitude and fully express who you are. We teach people how to treat us and your partner
responds to what you believe about yourself. As your self-image and self-worth grow, your dynamic will change.
3. Self-Love
The greatest gift you bring to your partner is your genuine love for yourself. It's impossible to receive love if you don't
feel worthy of it just as you can't receive a compliment if you don't believe it. If someone tells you they love your green
hair, no matter how convincingly, you can't accept it because you don't believe it's true. If they compliment your hair's
actual color, you're likely to accept because you believe it.
Your partner can only make you feel good about yourself if you've already created a place to receive their love. You do this
by learning to meet your own needs. Honor whatever helps you feel nurtured, appreciated and empowered -- follow your
heart's truth, fully express yourself and surround yourself with environments that bring out the best in you.
4. Respect
Long-term couples always cite respect -- loving understanding and acceptance -- as a major reason for their longevity.
We come together to witness, support and respect each other on our mutual journeys of discovery. We are not together
to be each other's healer/entertainer/savior/parent. Judgment, expectations and manipulation defile the sacredness of
the journeys we share.
"Respect" comes from the Latin word "respectare" meaning to "look again." If you're having difficulty respecting your
partner, go to the soul level and look at them with unconditional love until you see what you're both meant to learn and how
you can best cherish each other.
5. Freedom
Relationships do not equal ownership. We frequently assume the minute we enter into "relationship" with someone we have
the right to decide what they do, where they go and with whom. Most of us don't this in our friendships which is why they're
generally easier. If we took the "rules" of friendship, which include recognizing each other's innate freedom, and applied
them to our romances, we'd have much more fulfilling experiences. To succeed as a couple, you must accept your partner
for the truth of who they are.
Our friendships are also more successful because we tend to have a higher level of self-esteem in them. Love yourself more,
deal with your own insecurities instead of trying to control your partner, respect the highest truth in each other and you'll
be free to become your authentic best selves.
A romantic relationship is where we enter into a soul agreement to gain a deep understanding of what love really means and
how we've each come to express it. By having a soul level relationship you allow your union to become a sacred vehicle to bring real love
and expanded consciousness into your life.
To find out more about Caroline's book, Spiritual Fitness (DeVorss $14.95), visit www.carolinereynolds.com or call (949) 715-1039. She is also giving Personal Energy Readings in NY thru Nov 15th. To book or find out more, please call (949) 244 9769. |