If you have lost someone you deeply love, or have become strongly aware of your mortality, it's hard to avoid wondering about life after death, the existence of God, notions of heaven and hell, and why we are here in the first place.

The murder of Matthew McKay's son, Jordan, sent him on a journey in search of ways to communicate with his son despite fears and uncertainty. Here he recounts his efforts — including past-life and between-life hypnotic regressions, a technique called induced after-death communication, channeled writing, and more.

McKay ultimately learned how to reach his son. In this book he provides extraordinary revelations — direct from Jordan — about the soul's life after death, how karma works, why we incarnate, why there is so much pain in the world, the single force that connects us, and our future as souls. Unlike many books about after-death communication, near-death experiences, and past-life memories, this is a book for those who do not believe yet yearn to know what happens after death. In addition to being riveting reading, Seeking Jordan is a unique heart-, soul-, and mind-stirring reflection on the issues each of us will ultimately face.

What were some of the ways you sought to make contact with your son?

In the beginning I looked for signs he might be present, anything unusual in our environment. Family and friends kept track of dreams or messages from Jordan. We went to a medium, we went to a psychologist who specializes in Induced After Death Communication, and I learned how to do Channeled Writing. In the end, I found that channeled writing was the most effective way to make contact with Jordan—literally any time I wanted.

What is Induced After Death Communication - how does it work, and what happened when you tried it?

This is based on research by psychologist Alan Botkin. He discovered that by making a small change in a well known protocol for treating trauma, that his patients spontaneously received direct messages from the dead. He worked primarily with vets who experienced traumatic losses in war. After the first "accidental" IADC (Induced After-Death Communication) Botkin did the revised procedure with 83 vets who were being treated for trauma. None were told what to expect, but 81 (97%) heard the voice of someone they loved who had died.

I saw Botkin in Chicago, did the trauma process, and heard Jordan say these words to me: "Dad ...Dad...Tell Mom I'm here...I'm all right. I'm here with you...Tell her I'm OK."

What is Channeled Writing, and how did it help you to communicate to your son, Jordan?

Channeled Writing, also called automatic writing, has been used for hundreds of years as a means to communicate with the spirit world. Spiritual seekers and famous poets have used it, including W. B. Yeats. The Channeled Writing process I learned includes using meditation to get into a receptive state, writing out a question, and listening for the answer (often heard as a whispered voice inside one’s head or simply a thought). You just write the answer down, and move on to the next question. All of Jordan’s words in the book came from Channeled Writing.

How did you come to write a book with your son - after his death?

Ralph Metzner, a psychologist who taught me to use Channeled Writing, suggested that I could use Channeled Writing to do a book with Jordan. I asked Jordan if he was interested in a book project, even though I had no idea what it would involve. He was not only willing, he outlined the first 10 chapters of the book and established the entire scope of the project—within 5 minutes.

What did you learn about the spirit world - life after death - from Jordan?

Souls reincarnate for hundreds of lives. Between lives they are home—in the spirit world. Immediately after death, souls are met by guides and loved ones in an environment created to look familiar and reassuring. Following a brief transitional period, souls begin a life review where they examine every significant moment of the just completed life. Life review helps us learn how each decision we make affects everyone around us. After live review, souls join their soul family—a group of souls who both learn and reincarnate together. Guides (teachers) oversee the learning process—both on earth and in the life-between-lives. Each soul’s lesson plan for what they will learn on earth is called karma.

Why are we here - did Jordan say anything about that?

We are here for one purpose only—to learn. We are not here to be redeemed or to earn a place in heaven by doing good works. The reason we reincarnate, living hundreds of lives, is to learn the lessons that each life teaches. In the same way bees bring honey back to the hive, we return to the spirit world after each life, carrying all the wisdom and new lessons we have learned.

What did you learn about God from Jordan?

Jordan says that all of consciousness—collectively—is God. As consciousness grows and evolves, God develops and evolves. As each soul learns, because we are all a part of God, God learns. And not a "person," a specific entity. We don't see God in the spirit world. God is us.

Can anyone contact the dead, or do you need special powers?

You need no special powers to talk to the dead. I have no special powers. I'm not a medium. I am not clairvoyant or clairaudient. Channeled Writing is something anyone can learn. It requires doing a brief meditation to open the channel and help you become more receptive. Have an object with you that connects you to the spirit on the other side. After the meditation, write out questions. Start with questions that will have simple yes or no answers. The answer will come as a thought—write it down. As the process becomes more comfortable and familiar, write out questions that require a more complex answer (thought). Find words for whatever answer (thought) shows up in your mind.

Why is there so much pain in life - according to Jordan?

Jordan indicates that all the pain in the world is necessary for our mission of learning. We come to this planet to learn how to love with, and in spite of pain. These are lessons that CANNOT happen in the spirit world where there is no pain and we love without effort or cost.

We come to a physical planet to face resistance and obstacles. As Jordan says, "You can’t learn to throw a curve ball in heaven. First of all, you need a physical ball. Then you need gravity and wind resistance. There are no great pitchers in the spirit world."

Every lesson we learn here is taught by pain and resistance.

You've used hypnosis to lead people on past life and between life journeys—and you've been on them yourself. How do you do it? What did you learn?

I learned an hypnotic induction, from the work of psychologist Michael Newton, that allows people to return to past lives, and the life-between-lives (the spirit world). It takes about four hours, but offers profound truths about our individual life purpose—what we came here to learn and what we came here to do.

Later, in order to take these journeys myself, I consulted psychologist Ralph Metzner, who helped me visit past lives I had shared with Jordan. I also witnessed experiences I've had in the life-between-lives, including life review, meeting the "council of elders" and reuniting with my soul family.

Did Jordan make contact with others after he died? How did he do it?

Jordan made contact with many family and friends after his death. These contacts included vivid dreams with specific messages, visions, the overwhelming feeling of his presence with telepathy, and my own experiences with channeled writing, induced after death communication, and mediums.

What are you and Jordan doing and talking about now?

Right now Jordan and I are collaborating on a new process for creating spiritual growth. It’s something that can be learned in an 8-week group workshop. He has laid out all the steps of the protocol, and I'll soon be testing to see how it works (I'm still a researcher, after all). This may also turn into another book we'll work on together.