A concerned group of people surrounded it, and in a detached kind of way I wished they would ignore it. Not only did I not feel any pain, I felt better than I'd ever felt before!
"Okay," I thought. "This is interesting. I'm floating here, but what am I doing here? What is this all about?" I felt myself rising upwards, slowly at first, but then faster and faster. "What's this!" I gasped. I broke through the clouds into the blue sky, and continued upwards, travelling faster than the speed of light, way up, up into the heavens. Finally I slowed down as though I'd reached a destination. I was surrounded by a warm sky of blue that was so rich and clear that I knew I was in the most beautiful place I'd ever been. I was filled with so much joy! I didn't want anything to interrupt this experience.
But I felt people. They were floating next to me, to my left, watching me, beckoning to me. Suddenly I realized that they were real! We were floating in space. That's impossible! These spirit people, five or six in number, sat crossed legged wearing blue jeans that were a little worn, and plaid button down shirts, something a rancher, farmer or cattle herdsman might wear. I know this was done for my benefit, since I've always felt most comfortable being around people dressed in this fashion. They were all men, and their bodies glowed with a faint grey transparent color. Their hair was dark brown and short, and their eyes sparkled with a beautiful blue clarity.
I was struck with questions. "Who are these beings? What are they doing here? What are we doing here?" The more I looked at them, the more their faces radiated unconditional love. And fellowship is a word I would use; it's more than friendship. A feeling of oneness with all. We were all there together, and yet we were separate from each other. I felt relaxed, happy, and a deep closeness towards them, as if we had been friends for a long time, friends who had gone through a lot together before, before when I don't know. Now we understood each other unquestionably. And they were there for me. They were on my side to help me.
FLASH! Brilliant colors came radiating from within me, to be displayed in front of us, like a theater floating in air. It was a three dimensional, panoramic view of my life, every aspect of it. Everything I had ever said or done, or even thought was right there, for all of us to experience. I rethought every thought, I reexperienced every feeling, as it happened, in an instant. And I also felt how my actions, or even just my thoughts, had affected others. When I had passed judgement on someone else, I would experience myself doing that. Then I would change places in perspective, and experience what that judgement had felt like for them to receive from me.
Multitudinous actions or thoughts, derived from my own meanness, unkindness, or anger, caused me to feel the consequent pains of the other people. I felt their pain for the full length of time they were affected by what I had done. Because I was in a different dimension, where time can't be measured as we know time to exist on earth, it was possible to know all of this and experience it all at once, in a moment, and with the ability to comprehend all this information!
My life review seemed to have started when I was in my late adolescence or early teens. This was a time when I knew the difference of having a choice, a choice between thinking, feeling or acting in a positive or negative way. I was aware that I had not made as many positive choices as I had been given a chance to. In my life, as a whole, I had made about 75% of my choices out of mean-spiritedness. The other 25% had come from a conscious choice of love. The spirit people spared me from suffering any great pain I was feeling during my life review by removing that experience from my memory.
As bad as the mean-spirited choices were, the choices I made out of love stood out as being very significant. Of those numerous instances I reexperienced, one seemingly small incident could serve as an example.
This happened at a mall. I had passed by a woman who I noticed looked rather despondent, as though she was forcing herself to go on. I sensed her heart was heavy. I glance up at her. Our eyes connected. "Good morning" I said. Then I followed with, "You have a good day." I meant it. During my life review, I discovered that she'd been asking for something positive and supportive to come her way. The little that I gave to her provided the support she'd been looking for. It changed her attitude towards her children, not just for that day, but for weeks afterwards. What she'd experienced was somebody caring for her whom she didn't even know.
What's happening? I felt pulled or sucked toward something, away from the spirit people. I didn't want to go! We had such joy together! With thoughts they told me that john was there for me. John was there on earth, and he was there right now to help me. And at that moment I returned.
During my NDE I experienced a time when universal knowledge had been given to me. Returning to this planet gave me an acute sense of the limitations of our awareness. But I have come to believe that limitations can be a very good thing, and occur for a reason.
I feel that no one of us is to do all the work for anyone else. We are all pieces of the larger universal puzzle, and each piece has a job to do. The spirit people had communicated to me that they believe in us, that they still have hope for us. And they are asking us to get our act together. "You have the capability of making life better on earth. Why don't you do it!" they said.
As pieces of the larger puzzle, I think we can all get it done through our outreach to one another that leads to loving, interconnected growth.
by Linda Allen
Reprinted with permission of Seattle IANS ©. (International Association for Near-Death Studies.) Post Office Box 84333, Seattle, Washington 98124.